Tuesday, September 22, 2015

The Miracle of the Mercy

This week was kind of hard. Hermana Austin got sick last Sunday and so she was kind of not doing so good, but we actually did the best with what we could. Pablo is doing so great. I love him because he really just is trying so hard to overcome all his weaknesses from his old life. He really is such an example to me. We were having kind of a hard time and Hermana Austin read this really cool thing about the Lamanites that the Lord is giving them a second chance because he isn’t going to punish them for the wickedness of their fathers. Pablo’s dad drank when he was young. He tried alcohol for the first time at the age 10. We were talking about that he didn’t have a change to not become an alcoholic and God isn’t going to hold that against him. He is trying so hard. This week he is going to enter into a clinic to get better. We made him a book of the 12 step program the church has and put pictures from his baptism on the front. He was just crying and crying. He told us he has never felt so loved when he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. We were on splits on Friday and I called Hermana Austin to ask her something and she told me when she had gotten home Pablo had been drinking. He was so ashamed that he couldn’t look at her. But he is so strong. Saturday he got up and he cleaned the whole house and did all the laundry. We slid a little quote under his door before we went out to proselyte. That day was so hard! It was SO HOT! They say it’s hotter here in the city during the summer because of all the asphalt streets and it’s true. The sun just beats from above and below. Literally no one wanted to talk to us. We were trying to stay positive and be happy but it’s been hard. Our area has been really suffering. At a very low point my stomach started to hurt really badly and I needed a bathroom at that minute. We literally ran to a house of a member and I just zoomed to the bathroom. Sitting there sweating, the bathrooms get so hot in the summer and stinky, I literally just started crying because I was so miserable.  I didn’t understand why we had to have so many hard things in a row. In my pity party I turned to finish and wipe and you would not believe it but there wasn’t any toilet paper!!! I just looked at the empty roll and literally just started laughing so hard. This moment was just so low for me and God just has such a sense of humor. haha I share this with you not to make you feel bad for me or not to gross you out (I’m very sorry if this story is repulsive) but really for me it was a moment of humility and to realize that “our afflictions really are for a small moment and if we endure them well God WILL exalt us on HIGH”. When it was finally time to go home we were relieved, which is sad because normally we are sad when it’s time to go home and we don’t want to go. We drug ourselves home and we sat and talked with Pablo and Wanilda for a few minutes. Pablo looked so good and clean and happy. He had shaved his beard and the house was so clean. He asked how our day went and we told him it was terrible. He said “I want to share something with you. When I finished cleaning the house I took a nap and when I woke up I had the desire to go and drink. Then I found your note and you would not believe it but it touched my heart and I stayed home. I ended up reading all of Ether 12 like you told me to. It was all about faith. Your faith and the faith of my wife kept me home today.” I just started crying, I had been so ungrateful. I wanted to help people but I wasn’t happy with the opportunities God was giving me. Pablo said, “So now, how did your day go? When no one wanted to listen to you out there, you two kept me here.” I know that days are hard. Life is hard but we just have to realize that God has a plan. We all have weaknesses but it doesn’t matter. We just have to keep going. Pablo went to church with us yesterday. I looked at him. It was so hard for him. He felt ashamed but he didn’t care. He wanted to go because he loves God and wants to do what God wants of him. We all mess up. We all have moments like I had in that bathroom in Paraguay when it’s so hard to see the reason but there always is one. I’m so grateful to be a missionary and I’m grateful to have the opportunity to help and love people like Pablo. He in reality is helping me in so many more ways.
I love you all. Have a great week.
Hermana Ball

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