Thursday, August 13, 2015

Ire y Hare (written Aug 10, 2015)

I’m going to try and convey this week but to tell you the truth it’s going to be really hard, soo much happened. First off I got to do divisions with hermana rozsa, my comp from the mtc. It was soooo cool to be with her again. We have both grown so much since the days we roamed the streets of Argentina, confused. She is training right now and it was cool to be able to give her advice from my personal experience from training. I love her so much. 


But it was still kind of a just a hard week. Hermana Austin and I realized we are teaching way way less then we both have our whole missions. We are happy if we have three lessons in one day, which was like a terrible day for us when I was in my first area. But the thing is God is just so inspired. I think this is really what I need and more than anything we are realizing there are really specific things God needs from us in this area.


So I said last week that Pablo was having some problems. We found out this week they were more serious then we realized. Wanilda was kind of vague with me on Wednesday. She just kind of said he was struggling with La Palabra De Sabidura (the word of wisdom?).  We set an appointment to go on Saturday, but we were both just so naive about it. We were like oh we will go on Saturday and we will just talk to him about repentance and everything will be just fine. But we got there on Saturday and Wanilda was no herself. We could tell she had been crying all day. She started to tell us everything as my world just crushed down. I was such a mess as she told us that she didn’t know where Pablo was. He had left the day before for work and never came back. It was so terrible. I hadn’t been so crushed my whole mission. I wanted to just take all her pain away and tell her it would be fine. I wanted to promise her a million things and I just couldn’t, I didn’t know. I felt so blocked from the spirit. It’s cool being a missionary. We have the power to promise things and have seen them come true, but this time I just couldn’t, I couldn’t say anything. I just listened as the story unfolded. I love Pablo so much and became so uncontrollably worried about him. We stayed with her as long as we could and then we left. That was one of the hardest nights of my mission. I just couldn’t stop wondering if he was ok. We had planned with her to come by to take her to church the next day. We went by her house and I just didn’t know how to ask if he had come home. She finally said as we were walking, Pablo is home. I wanted to just cry from relief. She told us she was going to talk to the bishop and see what he could do to help. After sacrament she talked to him and in the hall after she just cried to us about how great the bishop was and how loving he handled it. We made an appointment to come by in the night. All day it was all we could think about. Finally it was time to go and we were kind of scared to see him. I didn’t want him to have shame, to fill embarrassed. I also didn’t want to see him differently, I didn’t want to judge him. But as I looked in his eyes I just felt the pure love of Christ fill me. He was so awesome. We talked and he was so open and willing to explain. We asked him to make a list of things that trigger this behavior. He wrote them and said he wanted to share them. We talked about them and made a plan to help him not be tempted in those ways. I was so shocked by the bishop. He was so great. He called twice while we were there to make plans with Pablo. It was honestly one of the most spiritual lessons. Pablo couldn’t stop crying. He thanked us for being with Wanilda when she was alone. He told us that when he wasn’t home in the night he had seen us walking home and it seemed like we were looking for him. He said it killed him to see us looking. He said it was just another sign from God that God hadn’t given up on him. I told him that he never will and that satan won’t either, that satan is working extra hard on him because he knows God has a plan for him and he wants to destroy it. I left that lesson with so much peace and hope, everything isn’t perfect yet. He is going to have to really try hard, but we are going to be here to help him.

It just amazes me how God prepares us, he prepared Wanilda for this so she could be his helper and stick with him. He prepared a way that Hermana Austin would be here at this time to help him. And I know that this is preparing Pablo for the amazing member of the church he is and is becoming. It’s strange how God just knows, He literally knows what we need and it’s so hard for us to understand at times. But He knows and when we really put our trust in him he can carry us. He can help us through all those hard things. The force behind us is always greater than the trials in front of us. It’s just like what Nefi says in 1 Nefi 3:7 that God never gives us a commandment without preparing a way for us to complete it. I know he is preparing a way for Pablo and for each of you.



Hermana Ball

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